Well me 'n oliver 'n Virgil were in the drugstore killin' time
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When my eyes fell upon this magazine
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Well I got to reading this article about sky diving and parachutes
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Said jumpin out of airplanes was the thing
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Being raised down on the farm and always ready for adventure
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Well I knew that I could find a way
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Delmer Gill he's got a parachute and uncle Harvey's got an airplane
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So we called the boys together
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Today's the day
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Well I found out too late what Uncle Harvey called an airplane
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It was nothing but an engine and a wing
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Now I felt my fear begin to rise as Delmer packed that parachute
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Cuz' he told me I was doing the right thing
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Ron McGloughlan shook my hand and JD strapped me in the harness
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Some children brought a jug and they passed it round
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Well I took one look at that parachute and that whiskey and that airplane
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And I turned that bottle up and I drank it down
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Well I was drunker that Cooter Jones when they poured me in the plane
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Say the engine coughed and headed for the clouds.
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Well I was sober as a judge when Harvey opened up the door
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And I never known my heart could beat so loud.
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I screamed "Harvey, I can't do this. You and I have known each other a very long time and you've been my uncle all my life and to ask another human being to jump out of an airplane at this altitude and this velocity is simply ridiculous man" at which point he kicked me out the door
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And I wrapped my hands around the landing gear
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And I was holding on real good til Harvey stepped upon my fingers
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And Virgil heard me scream from way down there
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Well I'd thank God and I'd thank Buddha I'd thank Jesus I'd thank Judah
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I'd thank Krishna and all the lesser Hindu gods
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Most of all thank my good friend Delmer Gill when my parachute finally opened
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And I thought hell there ain't no use in being afraid
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I came crashing through that hen house
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I scared chickens I broke eggs
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And then I kissed that ground and I fainted dead away
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Now friends I've been in a few battles
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And I've been shot at once or twice
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And I've damned near been runned over by a train
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But I never do remember ever feeling so afraid
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As that day I jumped from Uncle Harvey's plane.
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Uncle Harvey's Plane
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The Devil Makes Three |