The dangerous kitchen
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If it ain't one thing it's another
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In the middle of the night when you get home
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The bread things are all dry 'n' scratchy
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The meat things
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Where the cats ate through the paper
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The can things with the sharp little edges
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That can cut your fingers when you're not looking
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The soft little things on the floor that you step on
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They can all be DANGEROUS
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Sometimes the milk can hurt you
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(If you put it on your cereal
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Before you smell the plastic container)
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And the stuff in the strainer
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Has a mind of its own
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So be very careful
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In the dangerous kitchen
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When the night time has fallen,
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And the roaches are crawlin'
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In the kitchen of danger
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You can feel like a stranger
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The bananas are black
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They got flies in the back
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And also the chicken
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In the dish with the foil
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Where the cream is all clabbered
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And the salad is frightful
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Your return in the evening
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Can be less than delightful
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You must walk very careful
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You must not lean against it
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It can get on your clothing
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It can follow you in
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As you walk to the bedroom
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And you take all your clothes off
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While you're sleeping
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It crawls off
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It gets in your bed
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It could get on your face then
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It could eat your complexion
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You could die from the danger
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Of the dangerous kitchen
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Who the fuck wants to clean it?
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It's disgusting and dirty
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The sponge on the drainer
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Is stinky and squirty
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If you squeeze it when you wipe up
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What you get on your hands then
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Could un-balance your glands and
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Make you blind or whatever
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In the dangerous kitchen
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At my house tonight
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The Dangerous Kitchen
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Frank Zappa |