I go to college...
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But not for the education.
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The government pays my tuition.
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God bless this nation.
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Heads turn when I walk in the room
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'Cause I'm so classy, I sweat perfume.
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Yeah, I'd prefer cologne, but... Whatever.
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I wear so much ice
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When I go for a walk
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Once I fell in some lava,
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It just turned into rock.
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I got a lotta money,
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I spend it at the store.
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I purchase so frequent
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My wallet gets sore.
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Stretch it out.
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Stretch it out next time.
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I got so much dough
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I buy shit I don't want,
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Hell - even when I'm full,
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I'll buy a croissant
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With a combo meal
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Make it super-sized,
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'Cause my student loans is all subsidized.
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Why not?
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I go to college for the financial aid
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Direct deposit's how I like to be paid
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I got credit some cards, but I'm still pretty thrifty.
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I pay that shit off,
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My credit score's 850.
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I go to college for the financial aid
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I get so much money my bank's afraid,
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And just when they think the cash flow has ended, no,
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I get a scholarship for being left handed.
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I get the Perkins loans, four grand a term,
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You wanna borrow some money? Click yes to confirm?
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Confirm? Are you kidding?
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Click Click, DOUBLE CLICK!
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Quick, put it in my pocket
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Make my wallet get thick!
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That's what I'm talkin' about.
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But my conscience tells me,
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When you pay loans back
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That money comes out your pants.
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Did you get any grants?
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Did Vin Diesel break dance?
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I got grants for GPA
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And more for being Cherokee,
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One for being Catholic,
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Another one for heresy.
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I got one for being French,
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they paid me in Euros.
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I got a pell grant so big
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I'm being watched by the bureau.
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I got one for being black,
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'Twas a large amount.
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Wait, he's not black...
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I'm black where it counts.
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I go to college for the financial aid
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Direct deposit's how I like to be paid
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I got some credit cards low APR,
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Would you believe one swipe
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Bought me this guitar?
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I got to college for the financial aid
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Like I said
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That's all you need to know.
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That's not all I bought -
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One more swipe bought a round for the bar.
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One more swipe bought a brand new car,
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And one more swipe bought Myanmar...
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That's a country.
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One more swipe let me name a star.
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I named a star...?
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And I... I named it after you.
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I go to college
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But not for the education
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The government pays my tuition (and then some)
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God bless this nation~
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-----------------
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I Go To College For The Financial Aid
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Toby Turner |