(Parody of Iggy Azalea's Fancy)
|
|
(Verse)
|
First things first, I'm a craftsman (craftsman)
|
Re-modelling is my only passion (it's my passion)
|
And I'm the greatest in the business
|
Want referrals, yo!
|
My clientèle will bear you witness (right, right)
|
I can help when your door jamb sticks (huh?)
|
There is nothing in the world I can't fix (yeah)
|
I do tiles, I do stone, I do bricks
|
Call me, I'll come rushing over with my bag of tricks (bag of tricks)
|
Where you go when your disposal is rusted? (rusted)
|
Termite problem making, you disgusted! (yuck)
|
When your front window is busted? (hey hey hey)
|
Just one man that's always trusted
|
|
(Chorus)
|
I'm so handy, you already know
|
I'll fix your plumbing when your toilets over flows
|
I'm so handy, I'll bring you up to code
|
When your dishwasher's bout to explode
|
|
(Verse)
|
Now you see that your furnace is needing some service
|
I'm fully bonded, no need to be nervous!
|
Perhaps you would like a new counter Formica
|
Maybe I'll hook up your dish washer combo dryer
|
But all your pipes are antique, your water pressure's too weak
|
You got an attic full of dry rot because your roof sprung a leak
|
Your fridge is starting to reek, your hardwood floors really squeak
|
But don't you worry I'll just show you my amazing technique
|
Now let me glue that (glue that) and screw that (screw that)
|
Any random chore you got, well I can do that (do that)
|
Or maybe I'll just rewire your house for fun
|
I got 99 problems but a switch ain't one
|
|
(Chorus)
|
I'm so handy, everyone said so
|
I'll grout your bathroom, resurface your patio
|
I'm so handy, I'm the guy to know
|
When your leaf blower doesn't blow-oh-oh-oh
|
|
(Bridge)
|
Patch the drywall, clean your gutters and mow the lawn
|
Make that phone call, I'll install anything you want
|
Yeah, check my big staple gun, my socket wrenches are second to none
|
I won't quit till I'm done, don't even care if I hammer my thumb (aw)
|
|
(Verse)
|
Still rocking my screwdriver
|
Got the whole world thinking I'm MacGuyver
|
Your heating bills are shockin'
|
I can solve that with some duct tape and some caulking
|
Your house is a disaster, huh?
|
Need a guy whose a master with the plaster, huh?
|
Let me be your stripper
|
Taking off lacquer, no one does it quicker
|
|
(Chorus)
|
I'm so handy, you already know
|
I'll beat all price quotes, my hourly rates are low
|
I'm so handy, you should call this pro
|
I'm in the phone book and se habla Español
|
|
-----------------
|
Handy
|
| Weird Al Yankovic |
