[Adam Sandler]:
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Hey how ya doin'? My name's Barry Lakin and I'm here with the man on the street
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quiz. This weeks's show is a doozy man, it really is. I went around the country
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with my tape recorder and I taped different people having sex. I would just sit
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outside their bedroom windows without anybody knowin' and I would press record
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and these people would wail away on each other man they would really go at it
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and I captured it on tape. Also I went around the country and I taped people in
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weight rooms workin' out man. I would just sit there with my tape recorder,
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press record, and these people would have themselves a workout man and I got
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that on tape. Now I'm gonna play these tapes for people on the street and see
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if they know the difference between people working out and people havin' sex.
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Sir, what's your name?
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[Man]:
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Hi, how ya doin'? My name's Gregory Miner.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Oh terrific. My name's Barry Lakin.
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[Man]:
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Uh huh
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[Adam Sandler]:
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And let me tell you what I did man. I went around the country and taped people
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having sex
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[Man]:
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Uh huh
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[Adam Sandler]:
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I also taped people workin' out in a weight room man. I'm gonna play one of the
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two tapes for you right now
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[Man]:
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Ok
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[Adam Sandler]:
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You dig? You tell me which of the two they're doin' okay? Workin' out or havin'
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sex?
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[Man]:
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Yeah I got ya
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright I'm pressing the play button...Now.
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{Moans and screams}
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[Adam Sandler]:
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What do you think?
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[Man]:
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Well that's people having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No they were doing a Military Press
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[Man]:
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But..but they...
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No you're wrong. Thank you very much for stopping by. Amazing what people will
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hear. When the human ear wants to hear sex, it hears sex. Hmm. Let's move on to
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someone else. Sir, what's your name?
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[Man]:
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Uh hi my name is Ron.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Ron, what's your last name, quick.
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[Man]:
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Ron Johnson.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright, that's good enough. My name's Barry Lakin.
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[Man]:
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Nice to meet you Barry.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Terrific. What I'm gonna do now is play a tape for you. And you tell me if
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these people are havin' sex..
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[Man]:
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Yeah?
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[Adam Sandler]:
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See how he says yeah? Or working out in a fitness center.
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[Man]:
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Uh huh
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[Adam Sandler]:
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I'm pressing play...Now.
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{Moans and screams}
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[Adam Sandler]:
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And what do you think?
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[Man]:
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Uh, that was two gay men having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No those were two men doing Butterfly Curls.
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[Man]:
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Sounded like two gay guys having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Well no sir, you are dead wrong.
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[Man]:
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Alright.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Thanks for stopping by. Wow, interesting. Two men, on tape, working out,
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building their pectorial muscles. And this man hears gay sex. Which leads me to
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the conclusion that this man is either gay himself or not straight. Moving
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along. And older gentleman. How are ya sir, what's your name?
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[Man]:
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Uh Larry Bartowski
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[Adam Sandler]:
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And Larry, how old are you?
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[Man]:
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I am 62.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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My name's Barry Lakin.
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[Man]:
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Nice to meet you Barry.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Terrific. Larry, I'm gonna play a tape for ya. Now you have to tell me if these
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two people are having sex or working out. Are you ready sir?
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[Man]:
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I think I'll be able to do this.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright sir. Here we go. And play.
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{Moans and screams}
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Okay sir. What was that? Sex or weight lifting?
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[Man]:
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That was definitely two people having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No they were doing Leg Squats.
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[Man]:
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You're kidding me? They were not having sex?
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No sir, you are way off base.
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[Man]:
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I don't believe it.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright I'll play it back for you again sir. And if you get it right this time,
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you will...be the only one who did. Okay so...play.
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{Moans and screams}
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Okay, here's your second chance. What do you think?
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[Man]:
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Those people were definitely having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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No wrong again, sir. Thanks for playing the game.
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[Man]:
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You're kidding me. They, they...
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright sir, I'm moving on, I appreciate it.
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[Man]:
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They were having sex.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright that's in your head. Bye bye. Well we learned a lot about men today.
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Let's move on to women. How are you?
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[Woman]:
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Okay.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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My name's Barry Lakin.
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[Woman]:
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Hi.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Hi. What's your name?
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[Women]:
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Uh Jessica Sanders.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Okay Jessica. What I'm gonna do right now is record something, not play, but
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record.
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[Woman]:
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Oh okay.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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I'm gonna ask you to close your eyes now. And I'm gonna record something. Then
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I'm gonna play it back to you. And you're gonna have to tell me if these to
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people are having sex or working out in a gym.
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[Woman]:
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Okay.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Okay, close your eyes. I'm hitting record now. Pay no attention to what's going
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on.
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[Woman]:
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You're unzipping my pants.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Yeah that's right. Keep your eyes closed I'm recording something.
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[Woman]:
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Oh that feels good.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Mm-hmm, yeah it feels good here too. Alright. Okay, I'm gonna slow down or I'm
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in trouble. Ahh too late I'm gonna blow it here we go
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[Woman]:
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uh! shoot it all over me!
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Alright. Okay let me hit stop. And let me rewind that one. Alright now I'm
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gonna play it back for you. Are these people having sex or are they in a weight
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room. Here we go.
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{Playback}
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[Adam Sandler]:
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Now what do you think?
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[Woman]:
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That was you having sex with me.
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[Adam Sandler]:
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That's right and thanks for stoppin' by. Okay. Well, until next time this is
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Barry Lakin sayin all the world is schlach.
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|
-----------------
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Sex Or Weight Lifting
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| Adam Sandler |
