[Olly:] Hi uh as you know uh, we like to do allot of charity work
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and so today we got uh, a special guest coming in. They're going
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to send somebody down from uh the city Zoo as part of the uh,
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Animal Awareness Week so uh
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[Sifl:] Something we're just really proud of doing and we uh,
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try to do it at least once a year
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[Sifl:] No WAY, buddy, you're outta here! this is a nono nono
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[Panda Dude:] I have to sing my tale to the panda!
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[Sifl:] You can't sing... you're not a musician...don't let him do this!
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[Panda Dude:] This next song is the new first song on our new album.
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[Olly:] WHAT?!
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[Panda Dude:]
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This is not a rebel song... This is.. the PANDA! (oh)
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After dark, the pandas stalk,
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Nightmare creatures, with black hearts.
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Ravenous teeth that glow in the dark,
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Feasting on bums that sleep in the park!
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The pandas are coming!
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So hide under your beds!
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The pandas are coming!
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They'll rip your ass to shreds!
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[Sifl:] get out of the studio
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[Olly:] yeah, get out of here, dude
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[Sifl:] Hey, Pandaboy
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[Panda Dude:] I SHAN'T!
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The panda is indeed the most mysterious of all creatures
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(can somebody have him shaved)
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Shrouded in the enigma of his black and white coat (what?!)
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What kind of camouflage is this, black and white?
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Hiding in an Oreo factory? Could be!
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That's just another chapter in the ominous saga of the panda!
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(Nooo!)
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The pandas are coming
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To rip off your head!
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The pandas are coming
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On a rampage of the dead!
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(what the hell.)
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Like the shark, the panda has millions of teeth-
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(okay cut off the oxygen in the other room)
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-Which it uses like a hacksaw to cut through bone, candy, and fences
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(that's a lie)
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-The Chinese believe that if you find a discarded panda tooth
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You have the power to summon Godzilla
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(wow!)
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I'm drunk on panda mystery!!
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The pandas are coming!
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So hide under your bed!
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The pandas are coming!
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They'll rip your ass to shreds!
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This has been chapter 1 in my ongoing songs about the panda,
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which shall cease at number 820.
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You will see me again, Mr. Sifl!
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[Sifl:] Just get a clue.
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[Panda Dude:] Get a PANDA!
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-----------------
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The Panda Song
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| Liam Lynch |
