Tom: I'm going to come back and I'm going to start a therapeutic massage center only for for...
|
Mark: I'm going to start my own nudist colony
|
Tom: That would be grose, you tried that in our bus one time
|
Mark: I tried to start our own nudist colony in our bus and it was pretty much just me hanging out naked, they love you Tom
|
Tom: They love me so fuck everybody else
|
Mark: Yea fuck all you guys out there that are cheering, yea we hate you Tom you suck dick burn in hell
|
Tom: Yea fuck that, hey I say I say fuck the hating Tom thing that's what I say, are we ready Mark
|
Mark: You know what it is you know what it is a lot of these people are just now hopping on the we hate Tom bandwagon, like I've been hating tom since like 1995 I'm old school hating Tom guy alright
|
Tom: Oh shit, hey let's all say some dirty words, everybody say fuck, everybody say shit, everyone say dick, everyone say Mark's an ass hole
|
Mark: Everyone say, everyone say we hate Mark, yea
|
Tom: Hey now let's do this one, everyone say fuck fuck shit fuck, that's the kind of words you should be using at home kids
|
Mark: That's right
|
Tom: What do we do now
|
Mark: I want everyone to call me an ass hole again
|
Tom: What's up I like your hair it's very nice
|
Mark: You like his hair oh cool thanks he probably appreciates that a lot
|
Tom: I wanted to say I liked your but but I thought that was to foward you know
|
Mark: Hey this next song is for all the ladies in the hezouse, hea he it's for all the ladies in the heoueoueouze
|
Tom: Mark!
|
Mark: What
|
Tom: Shut the fuck up
|
Mark: It's for all the ladies in the houaeiouze, weee. Hey you know what hang on I want to make this like a
|
Tom: (belch) exuse me
|
Mark: Exuse Tom
|
Tom: Sorry
|
Mark: I want to make this like a big golf tournimant everyone shut up everybody just clap like it's a golf tourniment
|
Tom: That's what it sounds like when I get done having sex, 15,000 people cheering me on, I could take all of you in my bed right fucking now, but you're not invited Mark. You have got giant boobs and I doubt you're 18, do you have a note from your mom, I want to meet your mom...
|
Mark: Hey put those 13 year old boobs away, if I wanted to see 13 year old boobs I'd hang out by the Junior high like my dad like my dad does
|
Tom: Hey you know what I learned in fifth grade
|
Mark: What's that your dad has a bent weiner
|
Tom: My dad's weiner was bigger than mine then and still is
|
Mark: I want everyone here to scream, fuck you Tom,we fucking hate you you're going to burn in hell and die a horrible firery death cause' we hate you stupid pieces of shit
|
Tom: I heard that
|
Mark: Thanks
|
Tom: You want to give me your shirt, this smells like blood and feces, dinner time ok what does this say here
|
Mark: It smells like blood and feces, so it's your dad's shirt
|
Tom: Hey uh just like every other band we believe in a safe form of sex don't we Mark, that we do so Mark's going to tell you about how safe we are
|
Mark: Let me tell you about the safest form of sex, it's when you get super drunk and you have sex with like ten people totally unprotected and you do intravenous drugs at the same time, no it's not true
|
Tom: It's not true you have to carry a weapon. How many of you guys have girlfreinds and how many of your girlfriends have guy friends, I hope you're not having sex
|
Mark: And more importanly how many of your girlfriends have girlfriends
|
Tom: Cause' we believe in the love that exists between two vaginas
|
Mark: The most special kind of love of all is the love that exists between two naked women while I watch
|
Tom: We need her to put her shirt back on
|
Mark: Please
|
Tom: It just took away my boner, my boner just died, I had one and now it's gone
|
Mark: Please I saw your boobs and my wiener ran away. Hey hey hang on everyone everyone seriously I need your attention for just a second please, I think somebody lost a contact down here so everyone look around a contact lense hey someone lost a contact lense so uh...
|
Tom: I lost my virinity
|
Mark: Keep an I out for it
|
| Tom: I lost a te |
