The Illinois Enema Bandit
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I heard he's on the loose
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I heard he's on the loose
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Lord, the pitiful screams
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Of all them college-educated women...
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Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up
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(They'd be all bound down!)
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Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
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The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
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He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla
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The Illinois Enema Bandit Juice
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(repeat)
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The Illinois Enema Bandit ! heard it on the news !
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I heard it on the news
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Bloomington Illinois... he has caused some alarm
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Just sneakin' around there
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From farm to farm
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Got a rubberized bag
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And a hose on his arm
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Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump
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That he just might wanna pump
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(repeat)
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The Illinois Enema Bandit
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Some day he'll have to pay
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Some day he'll have to pay
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The police will say, "You're under arrest!"
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And the judge would have him for a special guest
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The D.A. will order a secret test
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And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest
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Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks
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And the judge would say, "No poo-poo jokesl"
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Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see,
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Saying "Don't nobody have no sympathy...
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HOT SOAPY WATER in the FIRST DEGREE!"
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And the Bandit might say, "Why is everbody always pickin' on me?"
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WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
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WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
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WELL DID YOU CAUSE THIS MISERY?
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One girl shout: "Let the Bandit be!"
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BANDIT ARE YOU GUILTY?
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TELL ME, WHAT'S YOUR PLEA?
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Another girl shout; "Let fhe friend go free!"
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ARE YOU GUILTY?
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BANDIT, DID YOU DO THESE DEEDS?
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"he Bandit say, "It must be just what they all needs.. ''
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etc. repeat
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The Illinois Enema Bandit
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Frank Zappa |