[Narrator:]
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The legend you are about to hear is true
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Only the needle should be changed to protect the record
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[St. George:]
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This is the countryside
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My name is St George
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I'm a knight
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Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 pm
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I was working out of the castle on the nightwatch
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when a call came in from the Chief
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A dragon had been devouring maidens
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Homicide
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My job, slay him
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[St. George:]
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You call me, Chief
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[Chief:]
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Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens
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The King's daughter may be next
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St. George:
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Mmm-hmm
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You got a lead
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[Chief:]
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Oh, nothing much to go on
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Say, did you take that.45 automatic
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into the lab to have them check on it
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[St. George:]
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Yeah, you were right
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[Chief:]
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I was right
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[St. George:]
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Yeah, It was a gun
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8:22 pm, I talked to one of the maidens
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who had almost been devoured
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[St. George:]
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Could I talk to you, Ma'am
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[Maiden:]
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Who are you
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[St. George:]
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I'm St. George, Ma'am
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Homicide, Ma'am
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Want to ask you a few questions, Ma'am
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I understand you were almost devoured by the dragon, Ma'am
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Is that right, dragon
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[Maiden:]
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It was terrible
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He breathed fire on me
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He burned me already
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[St. George:]
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How can I be sure of that, Ma'am
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[Maiden:]
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Believe me
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I got it straight from the dragon's mouth
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[St. George:]
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11:45 pm
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I rode over the King's Highway
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I saw a man
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Stopped to talk to him
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Pardon me, Sir
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Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir
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[Knave:]
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Sure, I don't mind
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[St. George:]
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What do you do for a living
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[Knave:]
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I'm a knave
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[St. George:]
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Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts
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[Knave:]
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Yeah, so what
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Do you wanna make a federal case out of it
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[St. George:]
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No, Sir
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We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood
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We just want to know if you've seen him
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[Knave:]
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Sure, I've seen him
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[St. George:]
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Mmm-hmm
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Could you describe him for me
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[Knave:]
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What's to describe
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You see one dragon, you seen 'em all
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[St. George:]
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Would you try to remember, Sir
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Just for the record
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We just want to get the facts, Sir
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[Knave:]
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Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots...
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[St. George:]
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Yes, Sir
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[Knave:]
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Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke...
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St. George:
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Mmm-hmm
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[Knave:]
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And one big bloodshot eye
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right in the middle of his forehead and
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Uh, like that
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[St. George:]
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Notice anything unusual about him
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[Knave:]
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No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know
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[St. George:]
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Mmm-hmm
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Yes, Sir
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You can go now
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[Knave:]
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Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him
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[St. George:]
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I thought you'd never ask
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A Dragonet
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3:05 pm
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I was riding back into the courtyard
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to make my report to the lab
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Then it happened
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It was the dragon
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[Dragon:]
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Hey, I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon
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You must be St George, right
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[St. George:]
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Yes, Sir
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[Dragon:]
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I can see you got one of them new.45 caliber swords
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[St. George:]
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That's about the size of it
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[Dragon:]
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Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha
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You slay me
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[St. George:]
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That's what I wanted to talk to you about
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[Dragon:]
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What do you mean
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[St. George:]
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I'm taking you in on a 502
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You figure it out
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[Dragon:]
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What's the charge
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[St. George:]
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Devouring maidens out of season
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[Dragon:]
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Out of season
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You'll never pin that rap on me
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Do you hear me, cop
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[St. George:]
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Yeah, I hear you
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I got you on a 412 too
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[Dragon:]
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A 412
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What's a 412
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[St. George:]
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Over-acting. Let's go
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[Narrator:]
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On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted
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His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked
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Maiden devouring out of season is punishable
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by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years
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-----------------
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St. George And The Dragonet
|
| Stan Freberg |
