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Well, you've heard of Samson and Hercules,
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they both brought a lot of folks to their knees,
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And throughout history their legends have grown and grown.
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Then there was Tarzan and Superman
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and Captain Marvel with the cool Shazam,
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But there weren't even any that compare to the Blue Cyclone.
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In a little bar one Wedensday night, me and ole Bill was about half tight,
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Comparin' Dolly Pardon to Lana Turner and Liz.
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When Bill winked at me and downed his beer and said,
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"Hoss, there ain't nothin' happenin' here!"
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"Let's go to the rasslin' matches where the action is!"
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Well, I'd never seen the matches before and
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when we reached the arena door,
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The crowd was already backed up out in the street.
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And people were pushin' and shovin' like cattle,
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just gettin' in line was a heck of a battle,
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We had to fight like hell but we finally got ring side seats.
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Then we bought a progam as we passed though the door,
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went section D, seats three and four,
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And about that time the announcer stepped in the ring.
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He said, "Tonight's the greatest card ever been signed,
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we got a tag team match that'll blow yer mind!"
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And they lowered the lights and the crowd began to scream.
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He introduced the Spider from parts unknown with his trusty partner, the Blue Cyclone,
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They were takin' on a team that never had been beat.
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Well, the ref checked 'em over the rules were explained,
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and somebody hollered, "The Spider's got a chain!"
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And in come the Vulture with his manager, Sneaky Pete.
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Then they rang the bell and all hell broke loose,
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my legs were shakin' like a rubber goose,
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'Cause I'd never seen anything like this, not even in the war!
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Cyclone put the Vulture in an airplane spin then
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he body slammed him then he did it again,
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And I swear I didn't see how that cat could take much more.
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Then a little old lady right next to me, why, if she was a day,
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she was eighty-three,
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But she raised more sin than any man I've ever seen.
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She screamed and cussed in the Cyclone's face
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til they carried her away like a basket case,
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Then the po-lice came and formed a circle around the ring.
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Then on the second row up jumped a man,
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I could see a pocket knife in his hand.
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He hollered, "Let me in there and I'll mop up the floor!"
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His wife reached up and grabbed his sleeve and
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I saw him breath a sigh of releif,
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And then he sat down and he never did say no more.
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It was right about there in the thick of things that my buddy,
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Bill threw a chair in the ring,
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And that's when I knew that we'd better head for the door.
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'Cause I saw that Cyclone lookin' at us
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and he rubbed his head and started to cuss,
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And I knew if he caught us he'd break Bill's neck for sure.
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Well, where we'd parked wasn't that far and
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Bill ran so fast he beat me to the car,
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And locked the doors and wasn't 'bout to let nobody in.
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And I turned around and Cyclone was there and he said,
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"Hey, punk! You forgot yer chair!"
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And by the look in his eyes I knew that this was the end.
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Then he jumped up real high in the air
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and both feet caught me with a flyin' mare,
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And I saw stars when I hit that hard concrete.
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It broke both of my arms and three of my ribs,
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it's the closet thing I've come to bein' killed,
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That's the last thing I remember before he put me to sleep!
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Put that sleeper on me.....
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You know, I oughtta slam Bill! Heh! Lockin' the car doors like that!
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Left me out there to fight the Cyclone by myself......
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Heh! I ain't a rassler!
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I'll tell you one thing..... Cyclone was lucky I was drinkin'!
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Soon as I get well.......... He's had it!
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I'll get him if it's the last thing I ever do ........
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The Ballad of The Blue Cyclone
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| Glen Sutton |
