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<< What Am I Supposed To Do >>
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--- Ann Margaret
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What am I supposed to do?
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Can I be a friend and honest to myself too?
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Well, it's not what I want--
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it wasn't any consious choice.
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I've spent more time fighting it
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and when I do that I'm doubly hit.
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I'm so nice but not just right.
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I don't know why I even fight.
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I wish I could get it through:
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"I'm the right one for you!"
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At least, I think so. That's how I feel..
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But I couldn't be, not with the way I've acted.
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Wish I could sit on my heart and get the feelings compacted.
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I've pursued this one for so long..so long..
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it felt so right I never considered I that might be wrong.
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I'm not being realistic; I need to pack up and go on.
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I'm creating these problems within myself:
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I've ignored my own feelings for how I want to feel.
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I haven't considered that she doesn't secretly want me..
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that's the thing.
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I haven't allowed her any freedom, allowed her to be herself.
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The person who I love is only in my mind,
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put on the highest pedastle I could find.
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And it's not that I curse because it's so tall,
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it's that I relish the pain every time I fall.
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I don't even love her. No.
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If only I could say that honestly so.
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What Am I Supposed To Do
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| Ann Margaret |
