|
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Brain: Through meticulous analysis of history
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I will find a way to make the people worship me.
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By studying the conquerors of days gone by,
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I'll discover the mistakes that made them go awry.
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Pinky: So that you can make the same mistakes if you just try.
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Brain: By studying the past so carefully,
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I won't repeat the same mistakes of history.
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Pinky: You'll never make another mistake, you see,
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'cause you'll fall asleep from reading all that history.
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Brain: Pay attention Pinky!
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When Cleopatra reigned as Queen,
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With Roman leaders she was often seen.
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But when she had no ruling friend,
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She found a poison snake to bite her in the end.
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Pinky: A bite down there I really wouldn't recommend.
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Brain: I won't need world alliances,
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When I'm commanding everyone's appliances.
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Pinky: Oh no Brain, that would really smart,
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To be bitten on the bottom by a Cuisinart.
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Brain: Hannibal, our book confirms,
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Tried conquering Italy with pachyderms.
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Just why he failed, nobody tells,
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But he never could get past the Roman sentinels.
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Pinky: And he couldn't find his weapons in the peanut shells.
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Brain: An elephant is not required,
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If I can use the media to be admired.
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Pinky: The TV viewers you'll delight,
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Unless the network puts your show on Sunday night.
|
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Brain: Attila was a mighty Hun,
|
He ransacked Asia Minor just for fun.
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But when he got to Europe's banks,
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He was routed by an army of heroic Franks.
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Pinky: I like mine with sauerkraut and mustard, thanks.
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Brain: Why pillage like a criminal,
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When I can send out messages subliminal.
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Pinky: Please send a message to that Hun,
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To see if he can pillage me a hot dog bun.
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[whack] Zort!
|
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Brain: Caligula was no boy scout,
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He did things that we can't even talk about.
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The Romans knew he'd lost his head,
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When he filled a vacant Senate seat with Mr. Ed.
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Pinky: What's wrong with being friendly with a thoroughbred?
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Brain: Why rule like such a reprobate,
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When I can put the world in a hypnotic state?
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Pinky: When everybody's in a trance,
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You can make the people do a chicken dance.
|
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Brain: Pinky, if you don't stop this foolishness,
|
I shall have to hurt you.
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Pinky: 'kay.
|
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Brain: In France, Napoleon Buonaparte,
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Thought beating Austria was very smart.
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But when he took on England too,
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He was beaten up by Wellington at Waterloo.
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Pinky: And now he's just a pastry filled with creamy goo.
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Brain: Why conquer with depravity,
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I'll win the world by undermining gravity.
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Pinky: And even if your plan falls through,
|
Maybe they will name a pastry after you.
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[squirt] Waahahaha!
|
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Brain: From Ghengis Khan to Charlemagne,
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From Alexander down to Tamburlaine.
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I find a ruler's tragic flaw,
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And gain a little wisdom out of each faux pas.
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Pinky: Don't forget the former Governor of Arkansas.
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Brain: That concludes my little rhyme,
|
I hope this lesson wasn't just a waste of time.
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Pinky: Well Brain, I've learned that one thing's true,
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Every one of them has failed, and so have you.
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Brain: Thank you for your vote of confidence.
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Now come, we must prepare for tomorrow night.
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Pinky: Why, what are we going to do tomorrow night?
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(Gasp) Sing a song about all the world's cheeses?
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Brain: No, Pinky, we shall try to take over the world --
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Through meticulous analysis of history.
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(Fade out)
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Pinky: Oh, but I like the cheese song, Brain.
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|
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-----------------
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A Meticulous Analysis Of History
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| Pinky And The Brain |
