Wait!
|
What's your rush? What's your hurry?
|
You gave me such a --
|
Fright, I thought you was a ghost!
|
Half a minute, can'tcher sit!
|
Sit you down, sit!
|
All I meant is that I haven't seen a customer for weeks!
|
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
|
Do forgive me if me head's a little vague --
|
Ugh! What is that?
|
But you think we had the plague!
|
From the way that people
|
Keep avoiding --
|
No you don't!
|
Heaven knows I try, sir!
|
Ick!
|
But there's no one comes in even to inhale!
|
Right you are, sir, would you like a drop of ale?
|
Mind you, I can't hardly blame them!
|
These are probably the worst pies in London!
|
I know why nobody cares to take them,
|
I should know,
|
I make them,
|
But good? No!
|
The worst pies in London,
|
Even that's polite!
|
The worst pies in London,
|
If you doubt it, take a bite!
|
Is that just disgusting?
|
You have to concede it!
|
It's nothing but crusting!
|
Here, drink this, you'll need it!
|
The worst pies in London...
|
And no wonder with the price of meat
|
What it is
|
When you get it
|
Never
|
Thought I'd live to see the day
|
Men'd think it was a treat
|
Findin' poor
|
Animals
|
Wot are dyin' in the street!
|
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop!
|
Does a business but I notice something weird.
|
Lately all her neighbors' cats have disappeared!
|
Have to hand it to her
|
Wot I calls
|
Enterprise
|
Poppin' pussies into pies!
|
Wouldn't do in my shop!
|
Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick!
|
And I'm tellin' you, them pussycats is quick!
|
No denying times is hard, sir
|
Even harder than the worst pies in London!
|
Only lard and nothing more
|
Is that just revolting,
|
All greasy and gritty?
|
It looks like it's molting,
|
And tastes like,
|
Well, pity
|
|
-----------------
|
The Worst Pies in London
|
| Stephen Sondheim |
