Let your quacks and newspapers be cutting their capers
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About curing the vapors the scratch and the gout
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With their medical potions, their serums and their lotions
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Upholding their notions, they're mighty put out.
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Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic
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And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen
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You'll know it I think if you take a big drink
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With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh what botheration, no dose in the nation
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Can give consolation like poteen me boys.
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No liquid cosmetic to lovers athletic
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Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom
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As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers
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Ever gave their own bowers such a darling perfume
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And this liquid so rare if you willingly share
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To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead
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Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
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So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head
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Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction
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Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys
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While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle
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Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap
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When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle
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I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap
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On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling
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'Til me mother and father were called to the fore
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All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying
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But soon found I only was crying for more.
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
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They only could suckle on poteen me boys
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Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression
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My childhood's impression still clung to my mind
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And at school or at college the basis of knowledge
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I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined
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And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin'
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On Erin's potation, a flavor so fine
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And how ere they may lecture on jove and his nectar
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Itself is the only true liquid divine
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh lord, 'tis the right thing for courting and fighting
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There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys.
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Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle
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What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream
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What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
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What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam
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What'll make the lame walk, what will make the dumb talk,
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The elixir of life and philospher's stone
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And what helped Mr. Brunnell to build the Thames Tunnel
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Wasn't it poteen from ould Inisowen
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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Oh lord, it's no wonder, if lightning and thunder
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Weren't made from the plunder of poteen me boys.
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You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
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For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop
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With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap
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It'll quiet a stallion or cure an old cob
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At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool
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You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff
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Then 'tis he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic
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If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff
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So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
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For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
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For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
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It soon separates all the men from the boys.
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The Humours Of Whiskey
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| Andy M. Stewart |
