I was takin a trip out to L.A.
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Toolin along in my cheverolet
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Tokin on a number and diggin on the radio
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Just as I crossed the Mississippi line
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I heard that highway start to whine
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And I knew that left rear tire was about to blow
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Well the spare was flat and I got uptight
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Cause there wasn't a filling station in sight
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So I just limped on down the shoulder on the rim
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I went as far as I could and when I stopped the car
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It was right in front of this little bar
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Kind of a red-neck lookin joint called the Dew Drop Inn
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I stuffed my hair up under my hat
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And told the bartender that I had a flat
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And ywould he be kind enough to give me change for a one
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There was one thing I was sure proud to see
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There wasn't a soul in the place except for him and me
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He just looked disgusted and pointed toward the telephone
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I called up the station down the road a ways
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He said he wasn't very busy today
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And he could have somone out there in just about 10 minutes or so
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He said," Now, you just stay right where yer at!"
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And I didn't bother to tell the darn fool
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That I sure as hell didn't have anyplace else to go
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I just ordered up a beer and sat down at the bar
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When some guy walked in and said, "Who owns this car
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With the peace sign, the mag wheels and the four on the floor?"
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He looked at me and I damn near died
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And I decided that I'd just wait outside
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So I laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door
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Just when I thought I'd get outta there with my skin
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These 5 big dudes come strollin in
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With one old drunk chick and some fella with green teeth
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I was almost to the door when the biggest one
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Said, "You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
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And when I did, all that hair fell out from underneath
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Now the last thing I wanted was to get into a fight
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In Jackson Mississippi on a Saturday night
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Especially when there was three of them and only one of me
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They all started laughin and I felt kinda sick
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And I knew I better think of something pretty quick
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So I just reached out and kicked old green teeth right in the knee
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Now he let out a yell that'd curl yer hair
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But before he could move I grabbed me a chair
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And said "Now watch him Folks cause he's a thoroughly dangerous man!"
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"You may not know it but this man is a spy.
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He's a undercover agent for the FBI
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And he's been sent down here to infiltrate the Ku Klux Klan!"
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He was still bent over holdin on to his knee
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But everybody else was looking and listening to me
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And I laid it on thicker and heavier as I went
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I said, "Would you believe this man has gone as far
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As tearing Wallace stickers off the bumpers of cars.
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And he voted for George McGovern for President."
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"Well, he's a friend of them long haired, hippy-type, pinko fags!
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I betchya he's even got a commie flag
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tacked up on the wall inside of his garage."
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"He's a snake in the grass, I tell ya guys.
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He may look dumb but that's just a disguise,
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He's a mastermind in the ways of espionage"
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They all started lookin real suspicious at him
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And he jumped up and said "Now just wait a minute Jim!
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You know he's lying I been living here all of my life!"
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"I'm a faithful follower of Brother John Birch
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And I belong to the Antioch Baptist Church.
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And I aint even got a garage, you can call home and ask my wife!"
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Then he started saying somethin bout the way I was dressed
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But I didn't wait around to hear the rest
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I was too busy moving and hoping I didn't run outta luck
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When I hit the ground I was making tracks
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And they were just taking my car down off the jacks
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So I threw the man a twenty and jumped in and fired that mother up
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Mario Andretti wouldda sure been proud
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Of the way I was movin when I passed that crowd
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Coming out the door and headed toward me at a trot
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And I guess I should of gone ahead and run
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But somehow I just couldn't resist the fun
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Of chasing them all just once around the parking lot
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Well they headed for their car, but i hit the gas
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| And spun around and hea |
