Our Tara's what people today would call 'user friendly'
|
She dunno when to say "no"
|
Her boyfriend, Rupert, 's in insurance
|
And thinks Ireland should be towed out into the Atlantic
|
And sunk
|
He's got a drop of, what I would call, 'boozer friendly'.
|
|
He spewed up all over my Belouchi rug
|
And sobbed apologetically
|
Saying how he'd given ten pounds to Ethiopia
|
And bought Band Aid's record
|
So I let him play with our Tara's remote control unit
|
'Cause he found it to be very user friendly.
|
|
"Ain't you got a computer?", he says, "they're very useful"
|
"No", I says, "I ain't"
|
"My bank manager's very helpful" he says
|
"Is he", I says, "user-er friendly?"
|
"What about this new weapon the SAS have?" he says
|
"It fires fifteen rounds a second"
|
"Yeah", I says, "very user friendly".
|
|
"Thank Goodness the miners are back at work", he says
|
"We couldn't have Scargill getting his way, could we?"
|
"Loser friendly, just about", I says,
|
"Never mind, let's get Labour back in
|
They're much more user friendly"
|
"What", he says, wiping vomit from his mouth
|
Fortunately, our Tara had finished cleaning up my rug
|
"Better take him home", I says
|
"He's done enough damage for one night:
|
Oh, and Tara, try and chose more carefully
|
Who you'd like to be sick at my place next time"
|
"Sorry", she says, and she meant it.
|
Boozer friendly.
|
|
(User friendly, user friendly,
|
User friendly, user friendly,
|
User friendly, user friendly)
|
(and fade).
|
|
-----------------
|
User Friendly
|
| Clifford T. Ward |
