Me an' Earl was workin' the superslab outside a' that Ogallala?
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When outta town come a local clown in a '65 Impala
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Had a 'coon tail flyin' off a' his whip antenna
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We was haulin' a load a' them go-go girls
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Truckin' 'em over to O-town
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Old boy got on his microphone
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Says "How's about a little showdown?"
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Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
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So ev'rybody get yer bets down
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'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
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Chicken in the bread pan, pickin' out vittles
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Swing them heifers and away we go
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Wake up, Earl, we gots to race that pile a' junk over ta North Platte city
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Well, one-eyed bears and deuces wild
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We got the back door pad-locked
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He says, "Bet five bucks and a side a' beef,
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"I can beat them cows ta Flat Rock."
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You hear that, Earl? He says he's gonna whip Ol' Bessie here!
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I says, "Call your five and raise ya ten
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"Jes' kiss that Chevy goodby, boy
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"'Cause when Bessie hits that floatin' gear
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"You gonna be eatin' Hereford pie. Yeah."
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Well, hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
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So ev'rybody get yer bets down
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'Cause this old truck gonna make us a buck
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She gonna round them curves at thirty gees
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A trunk full a' cows an' a hood full a' bees
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Move it up a notch, Earl.
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Yeah, that's it. That's floatin' gear! C'mon Bessie!
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Well, tuck it on in and head it for the barn
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If we don't win, we gonna sell the farm
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If this old wreck don't break my neck,
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We gonna take them cows to a discatheque
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I says, "Come on, Earl, let's give it a whirl.
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"That Chevy is a-pickin' up speed."
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Well, we crossed the Platte at a hundred flat
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Old Bessie was a-blowin' the weeds
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We definitely was in that Monfort lane.
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Yeah, we won the race with a bovine ace
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When the Chevy made a fatal pass
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Yeah, he got too close
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Got a terminal dose a' that good ol' Hereford gas.
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Phew!
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Hot damn, I'm a gamblin' man,
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So ev'rybody get yer bets down
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'Cause this old truck's gonna make us a buck
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She's rollin' the boulevard shakedown
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Hot damn, I'm a truckin' man
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And I sorta like ta put my foot down
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This old rig gonna blow your wig
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Got go-go girls and a Peterbilt cab
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Gonna see ya all out on the superslab for a showdown
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Super Slab Showdown
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C.W. McCall |