Well, I guess it was back in ¡¯63
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When eatin¡¯ my cookin¡¯ got the better of me,
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So I asked this little girl I was goin¡¯ with to be my wife.
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Well, she said she would, so I said ¡°I do¡±.
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But I¡¯da said I wouldn¡¯t if I¡¯da just knew
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How sayin¡¯ ¡°I do¡± was gonna screw up all of my life!
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Well, the first few years weren¡¯t all that bad ?
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I¡¯ll never forget the good times we had
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Cause I¡¯m reminded every month when I send her the child support.
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Well, it wasn¡¯t too long till the lust all died,
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And I¡¯ll admit I wasn¡¯t too surprised
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The day I come home and found my suitcase sittin¡¯ out on the porch.
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Well, I tried to get in ? she changed the locks!
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Then I found this note taped on the mailbox
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That said, ¡°Goodbye, turkey! My attorney will be in touch!¡± Mm-hmm¡¦
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So I decided right then and there
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I¡¯s gonna do what¡¯s right ? give her her fair share.
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But brother ? I didn¡¯t know her share¡¯s gon¡¯ be THAT much!
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She got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
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I got the shaft. I got the shaft.
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They split it right down the middle,
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And then they give her the better half.
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Well, it all sounds sorta funny,
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But it hurts too much to laugh.
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She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.
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Now, listen ? you ain¡¯t heard nothin¡¯ yet:
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Why, they give her the color television set,
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Then they give her the house, the kids, and both of the cars! See?
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Well, then they start talkin¡¯ ¡®bout child support,
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Alimony, and the cost of the court ?
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Didn¡¯t take me long to figure out how far in the toilet I was!
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I¡¯m tellin¡¯ ya, they have made a mistake
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Cause it adds up to more than this cowboy makes!
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Besides; everything I ever had worth takin¡¯, they¡¯ve already took!
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While she¡¯s livin¡¯ like a queen on alimony,
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I¡¯m workin¡¯ two shifts eatin¡¯ baloney,
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Askin¡¯ myself, ¡°Why didn¡¯t you just learn how to cook?!?!¡±
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They give her the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
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They give me the shaft. I got the shaft.
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They said they¡¯re splittin¡¯ it all down the middle,
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But she got the better half.
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Well, it all sounds mighty funny,
|
But it hurts too much to laugh.
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She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.
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Well, she got the gold mine! She got the gold mine!
|
I got the shaft. I got the shaft.
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They split it all down the middle,
|
And then they give her the better half.
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Well, I guess it all sounds funny, Hoo, hoo, hoo, ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
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But it hurts too much to laugh.
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She got the gold mine - I got the sha-a-aft.
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(They ain¡¯t kiddin¡¯ me ? I got the shaft.)
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Well, I don¡¯t have to worry ¡®bout totin¡¯ a billfold n¡¯more.
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Hahahahaha¡¦
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I let my wife tote it; I¡¯mon¡¯ be carryin¡¯ food stamps ?
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You get it, judge? I¡¯mon¡¯ be¡¦ Just¡¦ Hahahaha¡¦
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Ah, it¡¯s not funny, huh? Huh? Huh?
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Contempt of court? Whaddaya mean?
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Listen, judge: I¡¯s just kiddin¡¯!
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She Got The Goldmine (I Got The Shaft)
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| Jerry Reed |
