If I could be a Superhero,
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I would be Awesome Man.
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I'd fly around the world fighting crime
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According to my Awesome Plan.
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And if I saw criminals trying to lie
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Hurting other people and making them cry
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I'd haul them off to jail in my Awesome Van.
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Because I would be Awesome Man.
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(Now some criminals want you to be a criminal, and they offer you things like drugs and alcohol, but we know what to do kids, we just say no.)
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If I could be a Superhero,
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I would be Drug-Free Boy.
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Telling the world of the evils of drugs,
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and the lives that they destroy.
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well I'd take all the junkies getting so high
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With their needles and bongs and sticks made of thai
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as I'd burn them alive and I would squeal with joy.
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'Cause I would be Drug-Free Boy.
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If I could be a Superhero,
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I'd be Immigration Dude
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I'd send all the foreigners back to their homes
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For eating up all of our food
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And taking our welfare and best jobs to boot
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Like landscaping, dishwashing, picking our fruit
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I'd pass lots of laws to get rid of their brood
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Becasue I would be Immigration Dude.
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(Kids, you can make up your very own superhero. If you could, who would you be?)
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If you could be a Superhero,
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Would you be Justice Guy?
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Making sure people get what they deserve,
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Especially women who lie
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Like if a wife left her huband with three kids and no job
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To run off to f...ing Hawaii with some doctor named Bob
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You could skin them and drain them of blood til they die
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Especially Bob
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Then you would be Justice Guy
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Or you could be subtle, I didn't mean to be vague
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Give her Mad Cow disease, let him die of the plague
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As long as they suffer for their terrible lie
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Especially Bob
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Then you would be Justice Guy.
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Then you would be a Superhero, like me.
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Superhero
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| Stephen Lynch |
