Aw man!
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Put that ol' dumb horn down
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Hey, Jazzy
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Jazzy
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Show this boy what some real music 'posed to sound like
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He-he-ha!
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1-2-3-4
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Now that's a record!
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Now that's a record!
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Go Jazzy, go Jazzy, go
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I want to be remembered for the songs that I sing
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Not only for the humour, but for the knowledge I bring
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To broaden the horizons of others is why I rap this
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Enlightening minds with my lyrical tactics
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In life everything ain't always what it seems
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But people are enchanted by things that gleam
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You know, bright fancy cars, big yachts and mansions
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On the beaches of Aruba with a girlie romancin
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Now I'm about to tell you a very interesting fable
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More fun than when you first got cable
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The moral to be learned from this story to be told
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Is that everything that glitters ain't always gold
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On July the 11th I was sittin at home
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Talkin to my girlfriend Geena on the telephone
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Flippin through the newspaper checkin the news
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When I saw an advertisement for a Carribean cruise
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It said sunny skies and romantic nights
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On an incredible ship and I got hype
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It said it's like the Love Boat baskin in the sun
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Promisin fun for you and for everyone
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I said that's dope baby you're down
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She said yeah we could leave right now
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The very next day I put the check in the mail
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And one week later we were ready to sail
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The brochure said that the boat was large
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But it was nothin but a broken-down barnacle barge!
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And if it wasn't for my girlfriend, I wouldn'ta went
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Because the captain was a cross-eyed hunchback with a limp
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The cruise was paid for and the food was free
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So I said what the hell and set out to sea
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It didn't take long to notice something was wrong
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The ship was a mess and we were the only ones on it
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I didn't wanna panic, so I chilled for a while
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Till the captain pulled up on what we thought was a deserted isle
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We looked on to the beach and almost went bezerk
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We saw 300 natives with spears and grass skirts!
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The said, "Hung-a-dung-a-digi-dung-da-do"
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I said, "Hey baby, I guess that means get off the boat"
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Their chief said they needed a human sacrifice
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I said, "Well, just take my girl - he-he - psyche"
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I was jokin, but things got serious
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Their leader came out and he was furious
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He got in my face and his breath was the worst
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I said, "Hey baby, you got some mints in your purse?"
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His breath was stinkin with dooky brown teeth
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And two big crusty ashy hairy feet
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The worst thing, he had no toenail on his toes
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And a big Teradactyl bird bone in his nose
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I tried to reason with him, he wasn't with it
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He said, "Tenga-shanko," that meant 'forget it'
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He said, "Gunga-shang-tang-da-bong-da-boo"
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That meant 'tonight we're having Fresh Prince stew'
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Then I saw it - no, it's not
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The big Indiana Jones people cooking pot!
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I wanted to fight em, but there was no way to beat em
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I thought to myself, 'Where's Tarzan when you need him?'
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Just as they were contemplatin cookin us up
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We had a major stroke of luck, a Navy ship pulled up
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The troops came off and they got us out of the pot
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And I said to the chief, "Yo, I get with ya, hops!"
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The guy that rescued us said, "I hate to tell you
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The captain of your ship, he had just escaped from Belview
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We've been following him and finally we got him
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We're sorry, there's no way that you can possibly get a refund"
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A thousand dollars and a weekend down the drain
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But a lesson well learned, so let me explain
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There's a very important message that needs to be told
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It's that everything that glitters ain't always gold
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-----------------
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Everything that Glitters (Ain't Always Gold)
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| Will Smith |
