Veridian Dynamics we're a family, just like yours
|
But we don't waste our time throwing leaves around
|
We put our family to work
|
We mean real work
|
Not just eating mush
|
Our Veridian Dynamic family works for every member of your family
|
Even the dead ones
|
And we're working to bring them back and copy them,
|
In case you lose them again
|
We love our family
|
Which is why we work nights, weekends
|
And major holidays
|
Because that's when families should be together
|
Veridian families yay
|
|
Hi welcome to the family
|
You're here for minimum wage in exchange for your sanity
|
And take orders from tyrants who are stripped of all humanity
|
Just do your job and keep fueling your boss's vanity
|
Are there any questions?
|
Oh, yeah
|
Will you guys screw me on availability?
|
I have class in the evening and I'd like to have the energy
|
To stay awake in class and even have time to study
|
But it's fine either way cause I desperately need the money
|
Good question our policy is fuck you in the mouth
|
If you need to change your schedule just give your boss a shout
|
He'll blatantly dismiss it show his ass for you to kiss it
|
And say fuck you and your class and hope to god you miss it
|
Kind of figured I was thinking I should leave this gig alone
|
But the job market is crappy and I still have student loans
|
So forget it right before work I'll just get really stoned
|
To deal with the thought that I'll probably always be a drone
|
|
Welcome all and say goodbye to your goals
|
You're here to answer phones while we harvest all your souls
|
There's a Lovecraftian demon trained to rape and eat it whole
|
Hope you love getting screwed and taking very little home
|
Is there a chance I'll pick up slack for my manager's mistakes
|
With no credit, no bonus, just a dick slap to the face
|
Ah, good question, and yes oh and if you want respect
|
You'll have to be a male or have a distracting chest
|
If you want to pass time we have knives in the breakroom
|
To stab your co-workers in the back at your convenience
|
When your manager's around be sure to act like he's a genius
|
If that doesn't work then play tonsil hockey with his penis
|
Yes, it'll be bleak you'll pray to die in your sleep
|
And casual Fridays will be the highlights of your week
|
And yes, you'll feel like a caged monkey at the zoo
|
But somebody's got to do it, it might as well be you
|
|
-----------------
|
Orientation
|
Castle |