Written by Loudon Wainwright III
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Published by Snowden Music ASCAP
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Recorded Live at the Viper Room
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There once was a man who just couldn't cry
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He hadn't cried for years and for years
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Napalmed babies and the movie love story
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For instance could not produce tears
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As a child he had cried as all children will
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Then at some point his tear ducts ran dry
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He grew to be a man, the feces hit the fan
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Things got bad, but he couldn't cry
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His dog was run over, his wife up and left him
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And after that he got sacked from his job
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Lost his arm in the war, was laughed at by a whore
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Ah, but sill not a sniffle or sob
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His novel was refused, his movie was panned
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And his big Broadway show was a flop
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He got sent off to jail; you guessed it, no bail
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Oh, but still not a dribble or drop
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In jail he was beaten, bullied and buggered
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And made to make license plates
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Water and bread was all he was fed
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But not once did a tear stain his face
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Doctors were called in, scientists, too
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Theologians were last and practically least
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They all agreed sure enough; this was sure no cream puff
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But in fact an insensitive beast
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He was removed from jail and placed in a place
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For the insensitive and the insane
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He played lots of chess and made lots of friends
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And he wept every time it would rain
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Once it rained forty days and it rained forty nights
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And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
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On the forty-first day, he passed away
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He just dehydrated and died
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Well, he went up to heaven, located his dog
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Not only that, but he rejoined his arm
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Down below, all the critics, they loot it all back
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Cancer robbed the whore of her charm
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His ex-wife died of stretch marks, his ex-employer went broke
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The theologians were finally found out
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Right down to the ground, that old jail house burned down
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The earth suffered perpetual drought
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"The Man Who Couldn't Cry"
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| Johnny Cash |
