Sid Vicious played a four-string fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
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and everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
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a ukulele has four strings, but Sid did did not play ukulele
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he did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
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if only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
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maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
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he maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
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he maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
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so play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
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a˘ć?cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
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do your homework with a fork
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and eat your fruit loops in the dark
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and bring your etch-a-sketch to work
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and play your ukulele
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ukulele small and forceful
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brave and peaceful
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you can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
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play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
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ukulele banish evil
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ukulele save the people
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ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
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lizzie borden took an axe, and gave her father thirty whacks
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then gave her mother thirty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
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if only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
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had lost the plot completely
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see what happens when you muzzle
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a person's creativity
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and do not let them sing and scream
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and nowadays it's worse a˘ć?cause kids have automatic handguns
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it takes about an hour to learn how to play the ukulele
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about same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb
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YOU DO THE MATH
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so play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
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a˘ć?cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
|
do your homework with a fork
|
and eat your fruit loops in the dark
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and bring your flask of jack to work
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and play your ukulele
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ukulele, thing of wonder
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ukulele, wand of thunder
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you can play the ukulele, too
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in london and down under
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play joan jett, and play jacques brel
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and eminem and neutral milk hotel
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the children crush the hatred
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play your ukulele naked
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and if anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
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imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
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imagine that john lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
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imagine if john lennon had composed a˘ć©«imaginea˘ć? on the ukulele
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maybe folks would have more clearly got the message
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you may think my approach is simple-minded and naA?ve
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like if you want to save the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
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but people for millennia have needed music to survive
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and that's why I've promised john that i will not feel guilty
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so play your favorite beatles' song
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and make the subway fall in love
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they're only $19.95, that's not a lot of money
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play until the sun comes up
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and play until your fingers suffer
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play LCD soundsystem songs on your ukulele
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quit the bitching on your blog
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and stop pretending art is hard
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just limit yourself to three chords
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and do not practice daily
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you'll minimize some stranger's sadness
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with a piece of wood and plastic
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holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele
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eat your homework with a fork
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and do your fruit loops in the dark
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bring your etch-a-sketch to work
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your flask of jack
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your vibrator
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your fear of heights
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your nikon lens
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your mom and dad
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your disco stick
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your soundtrack from a˘ć©«karate kida˘ć?
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your ginsu knives
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your rosary
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your new rebecca black CD
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your favorite room
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your bowie knife
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your stuffed giraffe
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your new glass eye
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your sousaphone
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your breakfast tea
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your nick drake tapes
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your giving tree
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your ice cream truck
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your missing wife
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your will to live
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your urge to cry
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remember we're all going to die
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so PLAY YOUR UKULELE
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Ukulele Anthem
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| Amanda Palmer |
