Intro:
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Yeah, crazy ups and downs you know what I'm sayin'? Crazy how the world
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runs, word up. Check it out. Bring it on.
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Hook:
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Lord I try to keep positive, but this life is full of strife
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And I'm tired of trying to conquer it
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Lord always thinking negative what will go wrong will go wrong
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Until the beast in me vanishes
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Verse 1:
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First of all I was born under a bad sign, confinded to torcher
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Never saw what life had to offer
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Time slips away like pop singles on the radio
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Chino never had the doe, I was determined though
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Sabotaged at birth, cursed by an evil angel to strangle
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My aspirations from every angle
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From a street corner to a demo deal from Warner
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Hardcore performer, crowd warmer, thought it was on but it wasn't
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I never got no budget, stuck like a glue trap
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It goes to prove that
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Being the greatest lyricist can't paint the full picture
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It's a full mixture, I can't get no, no satisfaction
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Like being blind watching a movie with no closed caption
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I need some time to ease my mind, I'm bested
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Fuck Mr. Wendal my Development is Arrested
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All I wanted to do was rock with my fast ass
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And blast past the mass, collect quick cash
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Did what I did best create, but began to hate
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All these flake music people makin' artists wait
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But I'm a be up there one day
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And soon to slam wax innovate rhymes that my fans consume
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I view this world through my notepad
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Thus expanding my vocab to win, till then, it's all bad
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Hook (x2)
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Verse 2:
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When I was merely a sophmore, went to Atlanta on a false tour
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This ain't what I prayed so hard for
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Dreams broken into individual particles like porcelain
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Figurings attached to me like barnacles
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Now I'm suppose to be happy like Bobby McFerrin
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Keep faith, the only thing holy is the drawers I'm wearin'
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89' I aimed to graduate, no exaggerate
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Evaporating positive energy from inside of me
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To the point where my love for God no more provides for me
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Of course lost pride, obviously the force rides
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To paradise nobody invites but puts the Bill Of Rights
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1430 SAT proving ya, I'm a spick that'll die respective like Rahoul Julia
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So cease with, all that street shit
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Expect MC from Chi kid, you gets the wicked priest shit
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Until I see fit, to open my life strife like the pearly gates of heaven
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For ? entertainment this is my expression
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Prepare wealth and I'll share self, maybe I can help
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But I'm lost but I be large anywhere else
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The ill eagle, twisted, war novelist
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The problem swallowed us, it takes an activated mind to follow this
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And true to realm to be ourselves, not to follow a fad or give in to trends
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Till then, it's all bad
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Hook (x2)
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Verse 3:
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Unanswereed prayers plays the background, I pull my baseball caps down
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I hide the tracks of my tears from rapping peers
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I finally got on and soon he wasn't a moment to
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I lose my mind, I lose my friends, my daughter and a coma too
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I'm going through a strange tug of war inside my mental wall
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Record just went platinum, I'm slapping 'em, I'll show you all
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Cover of Rolling Stones, Vibe even TV Guide
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Was filming my first movie in L.A. when I heard my baby died
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Shook it off without a thought that she was beautiful
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Soul Train Awards I go to not my daughters funeral
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I stay drunk and high like I'm imperial
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Surrounded by more white groupies than a Rakim video
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Now life's a tour to me, except the way I was rejected formally
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Disrespected neighborhoods I know supported me
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It's eating me, suicide attemps repeatedly
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What I worked so hard for, ultimately is defeating me
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I'm paranoid my own mom can't avoid being a tabloid
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So she wasn't shocked when my baby flopped
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Caught in the industry, spending money feverishly
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Now I'mve been robbed, I can't believe my laywers did this to me
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Next album was filled up with tragedy and despair
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Fans with smiling faces with no real purpose for being here
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I call the dear Lord when in Billboard
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I plummet from 3 to 10 I guess failure is my new trend
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Thought I was all that, now I just fall flat, splat
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Vails of crack, my old friends won't let me call back
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| So where in mind can I find myself |
