Tom Cruise is so in love with Katie
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At least all his people tell him so
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And while he thinks that she's a very special lady
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It's probably not the way he'd choose to go
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But a lifetime of longing looks would cause too much distraction
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Good thing that he's not gay anymore
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
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Just be glad it's him, not you
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If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
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You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
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You'd flash your big white shiny smile
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And buy expensive shoes
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But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
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You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
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Tom Cruise is always getting older
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He knows he'll never be that young again
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And when Tom Cruise looks back over his shoulder
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He sees a thousand younger leading men
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He knows someday he'll have to play
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An old, retarded grandpa
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While someone younger plays his sexy son
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
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Just be glad it's him, not you
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If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
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You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
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You'd flash your big white shiny smile
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And buy expensive shoes
|
But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
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You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
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Tom Cruise hopes somewhere there's a place for him
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Because he's not of this world anymore
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Somewhere in some secluded castle
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Poor Tom Cruise sits staring at the wall
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And the outside world is always such a hassle
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Sometimes he won't go out at all
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There are millions who know his name
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Everybody loves him
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Why is it that he feels so alone?
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Tom Cruise is Tom Cruise crazy
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Just be glad it's him, not you
|
If you had Tom Cruise's troubles
|
You might be Tom Cruise crazy, too
|
You'd flash your big white shiny smile
|
And buy expensive shoes
|
But you'd be the only man on Earth who couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise, oh no
|
You couldn't enjoy Tom Cruise
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-----------------
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Tom Cruise Crazy
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| Jonathan Coulton |