My girlfriend left me for a seven foot Indian
|
My grandma hung herself on a tree in the Caribbean
|
My sister's on the dope and my brother always picks his nose
|
And Daddy's only happy when he's wearing Mama's pantyhose, yeah
|
I just lost my job to a God damn robot (Good times!)
|
Then my dog got in the freeze box, he ate everything I got
|
|
But I've got my mule
|
He's a very, very nice mule
|
He walks with me home from school
|
Cause he's a very, very nice mule
|
|
When he was a baby my mother fed him gruel
|
But now he prefers to dine on his own stool
|
He always philosophizes with the rabbis after shul
|
Cause he's a very, very pious mule
|
|
When he sees a picture of a carrot he has a tendency to druel
|
On Halloween he tries to scare me by dressing up as a ghoul
|
He once challenged someone who stole my hat to a duel
|
Cause he's a very, very Old school mule
|
|
A needle-nosed plier is his favorite tool
|
He lifeguards on a volunteer basis and the Rec. Center pool
|
When I break down on the side of the road he shows up with unleaded fuel
|
He's a devoted fan of Ms. Paula Abdul
|
|
And also approves of the recent makeover of former folkie Jewel
|
[coughing]
|
When I told him Halle Berry's husband cheated he just shook his head and said to himself 'what a fool'
|
Cause he's a very, very monogamous mule
|
|
[snoring] Porkchop! Wake up, man, the session's not over!
|
|
After several well-publicized arrests for public urination he now drinks exclusively O'Doul
|
And every year he puts on a presentation at the Boys Club to show kids smoking isn't cool
|
His favorite Elvis song is 'Don't be Cruel', no it's 'Hound Dog'
|
I was just kidding you
|
|
-----------------
|
The Mule Session
|
| Adam Sandler |
