When I was just a little wee lad
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I hopped on the lap of my dear old dad
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Something jumped and poked me good
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'That' he said 'just me morning wood'
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A little tin soldier's marchin by
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Sergeant major unzips his fly
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Pulls his weapon from his camouflage pants
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Slaps away til it starts to dance
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A shootin star's above my bed
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Changin colors of my mushroom head
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A rainbow jizz flys across the room
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Little white spermies meet their doom
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(Ah!) The amazing Willy Wanker!
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(Aaaah!) The amazing Willy Wanker!
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And my scrotum sack he says
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Lalalalalala, tickle me!
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Little green men from outer space
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Here to exterminate the human race
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Drop their ray guns and retreat to their ships
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When marshmallow sauce squirts from me tip
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Like a knight of olden Camelot
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The goo takes off like an arrow shot
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Gwynevere drops to her knees and begs
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For the spittin dragon between me legs
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I'm using my thing for what it's for
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Gentle knock upon me door
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Mumsy drops her cup of tea
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When she sees my wank standing tall and free
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(Ah!) The one and only Willy Wanker!
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(Aaaaah!) Here comes Willy Wanker!
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And my marble sack he says
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Lalalalalala, tickle me!
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Rasberry scones and marmalade!
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Squeezing my squid in the evening shine!
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Visions of mermaids in the sky!
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Shooting my load in me own left eye!
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Gramps was a hero in the first World War
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But he ain't got no dick no more
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Comes home smokin from the corner pub
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Makes poor old Gramsy kiss his nub
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The world spins around like a big bass drum
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Nanny pops a pinkie in the generals bum
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The Irish dance and the Scotsmem howl
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Time to clean up with the washroom towel
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(Ah, yeah!) It's only Willy Wanker, yeah!
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(Ah!) The lonely Willy Wanker!
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And my wrinkled sack he says
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Lalalalalala, tickle me!
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The Amazing Willy Wanker
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Adam Sandler |