"And now a buffoon's meeting with the dean of admissions at a prestigious college."
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[Dean:] "Well Michael, I would like to extend my warmest congradulations
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on your upcoming graduation and I understand
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you are interested in matriculating here in the fall."
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[Buffoon:] "I got a snake, man!"
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[Dean:] "Yes, pets are welcome here on campus.
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Be it the traditional dog, or cat, or even the occasional reptile."
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[Buffoon:] "One time I fed it some beer man! It was slithering this way and that!
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It was all fucked up!"
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[Dean:] "I'm sure it was.
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Well we discourage inappropriate drinking among both students
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and pets here on campus."
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[Buffoon:] "Fuckin' Shit!"
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[Dean:] "Yes, that's a not uncommon reaction to this policy.
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So tell me a little bit more about your background."
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[Buffoon:] "My father's a fucking asshole, man!"
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[Dean:] "Hmm, I see. Your feelings of rebelion are not unusual at your age son."
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[Buffoon:] "My mother's a piece of shit too!"
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[Dean:] "Well, I hope you can find an outlet for your hostility
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over the summer so you can come to school in the fall relaxed
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and ready to learn."
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[Buffoon:] "My teacher in high school was a stupid bitch, man!
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She had her head way up her ass!"
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[Dean:] "Well the quality of the faculty at a University
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such as ours far exceeds that of a local public high school."
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[Buffoon:] "Your secretary's a real fat bitch, man!"
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[Dean:] "Yes, she's tried many diets over the years with minimal success."
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[Buffoon:] "I had diarhea last month. I had to shit all fucking day!"
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[Dean:] "Uh huh, Well we all get the occasional stomach bug,
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never a pleasurable experience.
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So have you given any thought to your choice of major?"
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[Buffoon:] "I've got a big fucking boner right now."
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[Dean:] "I see. Well sexual arrousal is not uncommon during periods
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of nervous tension. I do not take offense."
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[Buffoon:] "One time I ate my neighbors shit!"
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[Dean:] "That's understandable. Well, I enjoyed meeting you.
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We'll be sending you our decision by the end of the month."
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[Buffoon:] "I bet you got really hairy balls."
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[Dean:] "Yes, it's a veritable forest down there. Bye bye."
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-----------------
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The Buffoon And The Dean Of Admissions
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| Adam Sandler |
