You knew she was in trouble
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When you saw her bodyguard
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When you saw those two together
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You knew it wasn't hard
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To see that she was different not just one of the girls
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With their gliding and their sliding
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And their pirouettes and twirls
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Then it turned out that she smoked and drank
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& posed practically nude & she didn't smile all of the time
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She got angry & was crude
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No she wasn't goody two-skates lLike all the other girls
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With their grinning andd their spinning
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And their winning little twirls
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And her childhood was unhappy, her mom was really weird
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Her husband liked to hit her but it was poverty she feared
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She grew up in a trailer park not like most other girls
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With their gliding & their sliding
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& their whirling little twirls
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Yes they all look like princesses like Barbies to the core
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But she was your parents' worst nightmare
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The slut who moved next door
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From the wrong side of the tracks
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She liked the boys more than the girls
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With their gliding & their sliding
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& their girlish dainty twirls
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And it seemed like she was lying
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About what she didn't know
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& then she started crying in the media side show
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In practice she kept falling down more than the other girls
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With their gliding & their sliding
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& their picture perfect twirls
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And they almost towed her truck away
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The whole thing was a drag
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Forget about Campbell's soup and Reebok
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Wheaties or the flag
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Ah, there'll be books she'll make some money
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That's what they're after all these girls
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With their selling kiss & telling & their twisted little twirls
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So play the national anthem stand up proud & tall
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Oh we hope that ours don't stumble & that theirs slip & fall
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Remember Olga Korbut what happens to these girls
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With their triple flips & axels & somersaults & twirls
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Ice used to be a nice thing when you laced up figure skates
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Now it's a thing to win a medal on for the United States
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But once there were no lutzes axels pirouettes or twirls
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Just giddy slipping sliding laughing happy little girls
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Tonya¡¯s Twirls
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| Loudon Wainwright III |
