(Jimmy Fallon with a British accent)
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Hello. Hello my name is Jimmy Fallon, and welcome to the auditions for Troll
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Productions Inc. Remember, we're looking for a star or celebrity to sponsor our
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new line of trolls dolls, in our new series of commercials. So thanks for
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coming.
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Let's just start the auditions, uh, first up, Mr. John Travolta.
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(Jimmy Fallon as John Travolta)
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She's like, I swear to God, I mean I can't believe you guys are trying to sell
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these things, right. I mean like, who does his hair? I mean like, his hair's so
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frizzy. I mean like, you guys can probably get some, like, anti-friz shampoo or
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something, right? I mean, I don't know how you guys expect to sell these things
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looking so weird, right? (His laugh from Grease.) A-huh-huh.
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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Thank you, uh, next up, Cliff Calvin, the mailman from Cheers?
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(Jimmy Fallon as Cliff Clavin)
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Hey, thanks a lot to ya buddy. I was talking with Marty about these dolls.
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Turns out, the uh, turns out the actual midget trolls were made in the 1300's,
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by, uh, Indian chiefs looking for a story to keep their children occupied.
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These trolls are nice, but i'd rather be having a beer with Normy back at the
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bar.
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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Thank you, Cliffy. Uh, next up, uh, comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
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(Jimmy Fallon as Jerry Seinfeld)
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Okay people, okay. Will ya look at these things? I mean, do you remember when
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dolls used to have moving arms and legs? Am I right? He doesn't have any pants
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on! What's the deal with that?! No pants! You get the doll. You don't get the
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pants!
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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Thank you, uh, next up, actor Nicolas Cage.
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(Jimmy Fallon as Nicolas Cage)
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Who? What? Where?
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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That's all I got for that one actually. Next up, uh, comedian Robin Williams.
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(Jimmy Fallon as Robin Williams)
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Oh yes, troll dolls, yes. A beautiful thing, yes. It's a beautiful thing. Yes.
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Looks like Don King on Viagra, yes. Yes, suddenly the guy's at home going,
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"What the hell's going on there?", yes. Meanwhile, there's a kid at home going,
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"Daddy, I want the Harry Potter doll!", yes. Meanwhile, the guy's at home
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going, "I'm seeing the anti-Christ and it is a troll doll!", yes. Suddenly
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Arnold Schwarzenegger's at home going, "Yah, I like to eat troll doll with my
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English Muffin.", yes. Suddenly, Mr. Happy's coming out going, "Lewinski,
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Lewinski!", yes. Thank you.
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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Uh, next up, next up, next up for the audtions, uh, Mr. Gilbert Gottfried.
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(Jimmy Fallon as Gilbert Gottfried)
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What is this? What kinda kid plays with something like this? They're so weird
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looking! What kinda kid would play with something like this? I'd like to be the
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voice of this. And that's not good.
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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Thank you. Last but not least, uh, Mr. Adam Sandler.
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(Jimmy Fallon as Adam Sandler and his mother)
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Adam: Alright, how ya doing? Alright, this is, uh, okay. This is, uh, this is
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me, giving a troll doll to, to my mother, okay Here we go. Uh, uh, mom, I, uh.
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Hi. I uh, I uh, I got you a troll. (Making baby sounds)
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Mother: What did you say?
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Adam: I said, I, uh, I said I got you a troll. (More baby sounds)
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Mother: I can't hear you. What did you say to your poor mother? Speak up,
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please.
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Adam: I said, I got you a troll.
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Mother: I'm outta control? What are you saying?!
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Adam: I wish you would just take the doll and, SHUT UP!
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(Crowd cheers)
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(Jimmy Fallon with British accent)
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That's enough for the trolls. Thank you very much.
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(Disc scratches the track out)
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-----------------
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Troll Doll Celebrities
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| Jimmy Fallon |
