{*a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's song "Iron Man"*}
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You can come and see my band, as I command
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Heavy metal rhythms from a middle aged man
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Smack my doggies when they crap on the rug
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But then I feel bad because I love that pug
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For years I've peddled, hard rock metal
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Got a dozen lawsuits but I'm hoping to settle
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I go on tour, the fans want more
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I love to throw things at the people next door
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I got kids showing up at all hours of the night
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Can't stand it but I handle it and try to be polite
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Gettin' old before my time thanks to Kelly and Jack
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Arthritis in my knee and a crick in my back
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Now I'm back on the scene 'though some find it obscene
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I'll be rockin' like this till I rupture a spleen
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A lot of dummies get money in a sound-alike band
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But nothing there can compare to the true Ozzman
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I hold the record in Guinness for bat heads finished
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I'm finding new ways to mutilate the Queen's English
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My son wears cammo, he wants live ammo
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I can't allow that or the house'll go kablammo
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I shave my stubble, I don't want trouble
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But the prince of friggin' darkness doesn't need no damn bubbles
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Like where I reside? I'll be your tour guide
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I bought it for a song I wrote about suicide
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The bad boy of rock, not to be mocked
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Move onto my block and you might get shocked
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We might seem weird but that's part of the drill
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We're sane compared to the rest of Beverly Hills
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Woah! Is that Ozzy?
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Uh, huh huh huh. Ozzy's an old fart
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{*both laugh*}
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Yeah, heh heh. Woah, chick it out. A mini-Ozzy
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Huh huh huh, yeah. He's a dork
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Yeah. Um. Hey Butthead. What's all that beeping?
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Uh, I dunno. Maybe there's a truck backing up or something
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Yeah, heh heh. The Ozzmobile! Hehehe
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{*Batman theme*} Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh
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Ddu-nuh du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh Ozzy!
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Du-nuh du-nuh du-nuh..
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Shut up, assmunch!
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Heh, hmm heh. Sorry 'bout that
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Beavis, check it out! A chick!
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Hm, cool! Uuuum. What's the matter with her hair?
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Uh huh huh. Come to Butthead
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{*both chant Iron Man riff*}
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Long hair I'm brushin', we have a discussion
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And they bleep half the show 'cause we can't stop cussin'
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I crunch a quarter note, I sacrifice a goat
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I watch the weather channel 'cause I can't work the remote
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MTV paid it, our show's the highest rated
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Anna Nicole is just way too sedated
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But sooner or later I'll need a translater
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Mumble like Schwartzenegger in Terminator
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Guitar chord ripper, Perrier sipper
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Walk around the house in my fuzzy bunny slippers
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Flesh like leather, worn and weathered
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Take the blame a lot myself, but we're all in this together
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My kids creations don't cause ovations
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They don't have talent, but they have agents
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Critics wanna diss, fans don't wanna miss
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A lot of networks got a show but it ain't like this
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Jack. Uh huh huh
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-----------------
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Ozzman
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Sudden Death |