At home, Friday night, and I'm checkin' out the Playboy Channel
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But it might be too much for me to handle
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¡®Cause I start to drool as she's gettin' undressed
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I see a beautiful woman with a speed bump on her chest
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Yo, what the Hell, who's idea was that
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Those things look defective, she should take ¡®em back
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I'm sick of it, this ain't what I paid for at all
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If I wanted fake breasts I would have bought a Barbie doll
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Why would a woman do something that drastic
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Lookin' like a mannequin, rigid and plastic
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Don't deny it, that's a design
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Of the ACME Inflatable Bustline
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To the untrained eye, yo, they may look fine
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But to a pervert like me, yo, they're easy to find
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I can pick out the point where the breast begins
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Like she's hiding two basketballs under her skin
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Big or small it doesn't matter at all
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As long as they're not made from a silicon ball
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Fake breasts don't bounce, don't move, don't try
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So you'd better be careful, you might lose an eye
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Eighty-four, twenty-four, thirty-four, please no more
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They're so big they don't fit out the door
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Artificially implanted sex appeal
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I'm givin' new meaning to the phrase ¡°get real¡±
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(¡°Do you like boobs a lot?¡±) More than you know
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But I don't like pizza made of play-dough
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Are those things real? My oh my
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Or did an animal crawl up your shirt and die
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How much did you pay for what we see
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Did it come with a thirty year warrantee
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Did you have the choice of size, shape and design
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You made your points, I just made mine
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-----------------
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Silicon Valley
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| Sudden Death |
