Mr. Long is a man unique in his kind
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He's a Chinese superhero in his own mind
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He thinks he's a sex god, he rarely has a date
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Mr. Long is a man traumatized by fate
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His first name is Hung, with the last name Long
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I heard it, Hung Long, that may have to be a song
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Please forgive me I ramble and I sound like a liar
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I'm just killing time while my clothes are in the drier
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People greet him nicely then they bite their tongue
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'Cause they all say the same thing, "So, how are ya, Hung?"
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Well, maybe they'll open their eyes
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And see Long is a man who needs to be lobotomizd
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Horny as hell and I know what's up
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He loves to play games, I guess he never grew up
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Red Rover, Red Rover, nobody will bend over
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So he plays another game called The Hunt For Miss October
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Competitive at this, no contest, he'll win it
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He should try out for a spot on the One Arm Olympics
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If you wanna be like Long, for a game you're yearnin'
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Just drop your pants and do the Pee Wee Herman
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[chorus]
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Find a wife, get a life, do something
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You're just wasting away, what more can I say
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You're gettin' all excited over nothing
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He's been dissed since the day he was born, it's a fact
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His mother told the doctor "He's not done, put him back"
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He got picked on by his girlfriend, wouldn't play the game
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I guess he didn't live up to his name
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Hung Long has pick-up lines, he made up a few you bet
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But a slap in the face is all he manages to get
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He told a girl she's the boss and he's applying for a bit
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And did she have any openings that he could fit
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He thinks he's Superman, it's gone to his head
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He's faster than a speeding bullet when he's in bed
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One girl almost married him, that's a fact
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But when a gay lover sued, that was the end of that
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Nowadays it's still not real in his brain
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He has dreams of condoms breakin' from the strain
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He had a blind date once, but his plans were spoiled
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He thought she's look like Bo Derek, she turned out like Olive Oyl
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So he doesn't do that anymore
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He just makes his weekly trip to the corner store
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Doesn't worry about back talk or worry about a scuffle
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He's perfectly safe doin' the old Knuckle Shuffle
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[chorus]
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-----------------
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The Adventures Of Mr. Long
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| Sudden Death |
