I was walkin' through the mall headin' to the record store
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Gonna buy a new tape that came out the day before
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Halfway there when I got a big scare
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There's a guy with a clipboard scratching his hair
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With a pencil, he's a Mall-Cockroach
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And his face lit up when h saw me approach
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I didn't even look at him I tried to hide
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And I gradually wandered to the mall's other side
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A guided missile couldn't catch me as fast
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As this guy did as I tried to walk past
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Pushed his face in mine and said "Excuse me sir,
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May I have a few minutes of your time for a survey?"
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My first thought was to bash in his skull with a brick
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And then get out of there quick
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But there's witnesses around, they would see him goin' down
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And the last thing I need is to be sent downtown
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So I told him make it quick, do it short and to the point
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I had to keep a gynecologist appointment
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I really just didn't want to be there for an hour
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Then he turned to me and said, Do you piss in the shower?
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Uhhh, I didn't know what to say
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I was expecting an important question from the survey
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Maybe something about AIDS for an intelligent discussion
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Not a meaningless remark about a bodily function
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He was serious and I was shocked
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I just stuttered for a minute, I was in a mental block
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Then he informed me that the government was payin'
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To see how much urine was goin' down the drain
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Just one of many studies that the government endows
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Like how many gay seagulls and how many farting cows
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Who really cares? So I said I'm gonna go
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My piss is my business so you're never gonna know
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But this is a real problem, we gotta try and fix it
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Homelessness is caused by too many people pissin'
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The theory makes sense and it's really quite frightening
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I said, you're on drugs, but please, enlighten me
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Gladly, scientists last year found
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That urine from the shower drain leaks into the ground
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It gets into the water that everybody drinks
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Then it messes with their mind so the people can't think
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They start takin' drugs all day and night
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Then they lose their job 'cause they don't do it right
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No job, no money, no home
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This is a serious problem we can't leave alone
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He seemed to want to make a career about piss
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And I couldn't believe he was serious about this
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So I walked away, I needed out of that place
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But he turned and got right in my face
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I got a weird felling kinda like heartburn
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'Cause this guy was more attached to me than a tapeworm
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I'm positive this guy would have followed me home
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I said get out of my face and leave my urine alone
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I pushed him away and wiped his spit off my chest
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He said You're not gonna answer? Surely you jest
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I said yeah, I jest, I jest oughtta kill you
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Ask me again and some blood will be spilled
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Do you piss in the shower? Boom, that's that
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Bashed his face against the wall a few times now it's flat
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And with his very last gasp of air he said
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Do you piss in the shower?, so I pissed on his head.
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-----------------
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Do You Piss In The Shower?
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| Sudden Death |
