Well, I was stranded on a planet, just me and Spock
|
We met a nasty Nazi alien, he locked our asses up
|
We found a hunk of crystal and a metal piece of bed
|
We made a laser phaser gun and shot him in the head!
|
|
Well, I was standing on the bridge when Sulu came to me
|
His eyes were full of tears, he said, "Captain, can't you see?
|
The ship is gonna blow, do something, I beseech!"
|
I grabbed a tribble and some chewing gum and stopped the warp core breach
|
|
And I said,
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
|
|
I know he's just a child, and most think him a twit
|
But Wesley is the master when it comes to making up some shit
|
He's the guy you want with you when you go out in space
|
Just tell him: "shut up, Wesley," if he gets in your face
|
|
And if you're at a party on the starship Enterprise
|
And the karaoke player just plain old up and dies
|
Set up a neutrino field inside a can of peas
|
Hold on to Geordi's visor and sing into Data's knees
|
|
And I said
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
|
|
Sisko's on a mission to go no bloody place
|
He loiters on a space station above Bajoran space
|
The wormhole opened up and now they come from near and far
|
We'll keep the booze but please send back the fucking Jem-hadar
|
|
And what is with the Klingons? Remember, in the day,
|
They looked like Puerto Ricans and they dressed in gold lame
|
Now they look like heavy metal rockers from the dead
|
With leather pants and frizzy hair and lobsters on their heads
|
|
And I said
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things, lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans, they pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
|
|
Well, I was stuck on Voyager, pounding on the door
|
When suddenly it dawned on me I've seen this show before
|
Perhaps I'm in a warp bubble slightly out of phase
|
'Cause it was way back in the sixties when they called it "Lost in Space"
|
|
We were looking for a way to make the ratings soar
|
So we orchestrated an encounter with the Borg
|
Normally you'd think that that would get us into shit
|
But this one has a smashing ass and a lovely set of tits
|
|
And I said
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we'll just make some shit up
|
|
Well then they got a new show
|
And it's called Enterprise
|
And it takes place a hundred years
|
Before Kirk was alive
|
They say that it's a prequel
|
Or so that's what it's called
|
It's such a bad idea you'd swear that Lucas was involved
|
|
They have a Vulcan female
|
But she's a nervous wreck
|
Her ass is sweet as Seven's only green
|
So what the heck
|
They're in the past but Klingons have those lobsters on their heads
|
I'm more confused than Wesley Crusher nude in Tasha's bed
|
|
And I say
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind we just make some shit up
|
|
[Bonus verse]
|
Well it would seem a big wig up at Paramount
|
Must have felt the franchise was stale by all accounts
|
Cause he hired J. J. Abrams to give the thing a shove
|
I feared that he would mock and mangle everything I love
|
|
Well I went to the movie and there much to my shock
|
There were hunky models playing Kirk and Spock
|
Vulcan's been destroyed and the timeline has been crushed
|
So someone tell me why I love this film so fucking much
|
|
And I said
|
Bounce a graviton particle beam off the main deflector dish
|
That's the way we do things lad, we're making shit up as we wish
|
The Klingons and the Romulans they pose no threat to us
|
'Cause if we find we're in a bind --we're totally screwed but never mind--
|
We'll pull something out of our behinds
|
What does God need with a starship?
|
We just make some shit up
|
|
-----------------
|
The U.S.S. Make Shit Up (BiTrektual Version)
|
| Voltaire |
