And in 3, 2...
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[Interviewer] We're sitting here today with film star Natalie Portman
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[Natalie] Hello.
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[I] So Natalie, what's a day in the life of Natalie Portman like?
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[N] Do you really wanna know?
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[I] Please, tell us.
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[Natalie Portman]
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I don't sleep motherfucker off that yak and a durban
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Doin 120 gettin head while I'm swervin
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(Damn Natalie, you a crazy chick)
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Yo, shut the fuck up and suck my dick
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I bust in dudes mouths like gushers motherfucker
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Pull up on NBC and smack the shit outta Jeff Zucker
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What you want Natalie? (To drink and fight!)
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What you need Natalie? (To fuck all night!)
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Don't test me when I'm crazy off that airplane glue
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Put my foot down your throat til your shits in my shoe
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Leave you screamin, pay for my dry-cleanin
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Fuck your man it's my name that he's screamin!
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[I] I'm sorry Natalie, are we to believe that you condone driving while intoxicated?
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[N] I never said I was a role model
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[I] But, what about the kids that look up to you? Do you have a message for them?
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[Natalie Portman]
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All the kids lookin up to me can suck my dick
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It's Portman motherfucker, drink til I'm sick
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Slit your throat and pour nitrous down the hole
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Watch you laugh and cry; while I laugh, you die
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And to all the dudes, you know I'm talkin to you
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(We love you Natalie!) I wanna fuck you too!
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(P!) It's for Portman! (P!) It's for pussy
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I'll kill your fuckin dog for fun, so don't push me (hahaha..)
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[I] Well Natalie, I'm surprised, all this from a Harvard graduate?
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[N] Well, there's a lot you may not know about me
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[I] Really, such as?
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[Natalie Portman]
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When I was in Harvard I smoked weed everyday
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I cheated every test and snorted all the yay
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I gotta def posse, you gotta bunch of dudes
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I sit right down on your face and take a shit
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[The Lonely Island]
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Natalie, you are a bad ass bitch (hell yeah!)
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And I'll always pay for your dry-cleanin
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When my shit gets in your shoe (What!) as for the drug use
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Well I can't vouch for that, my dick is scared of you (ooh)
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[Outro]
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[I] Hoky dok... Natalie, one final question. If you could steal a smooch from any guy in Hollywood who would it... (Sound of chair being broken over the interviewer's head)
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[N] No more questions
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What!
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Natalie's Rap
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| The Lonely Island |
