[Conversation between two men:]
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Hey, what a great day for a swim.
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Yeah. Why are you wearing a shirt?
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Too many hickeys on my neck.
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Oh. The girl I was with last night scratched my back.
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So you've also been having sex.
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Yeah.
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[Rapping]
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We need love, not meaningless sex.
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You've got a round butt? We're not impressed.
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So many girls wanna get in our pants,
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But we're not whores. We need romance.
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Hey girl (girl), you look good.
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I want you to know that I would - do you.
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Frequently. Like riding my hog, it's nothing to me.
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You're wearing a bra, but soon you won't.
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Call me the magic man: now you see it, now you don't.
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When it comes to foreplay, I can take for hours.
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Say "Do I make you horny, baby?" - Austin Powers.
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My ocean's got motion, but also girth;
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The closest thing you'll feel to giving birth.
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I'm a butt man
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and I like boobs.
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Put them together, and we like you.
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I don't care that you're overweight.
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I see your soul, and you look great.
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We love all colors, shapes, and sizes,
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Except Steve's new girlfriend, who's a fucking slut!
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We need love, not meaningless sex.
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You've got a round butt? We're not impressed.
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Just two Don Juans looking for amour;
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It could be you if you're not a whore.
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I'm Guy #1, I'll massage your back.
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Or if you prefer, I'll squeeze your rack.
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If it's your time of the month, I'll call it a night.
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I'm Guy #2, I don't run red lights.
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If I was with you, I'd need at least 10 rubbers.
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Your poo-tang stank, I don't need another lover.
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I wear condoms too, but when they break, it's bad.
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Take you to the clinic, I can't be no dad.
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Cause we're the freaks of the industry.
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You a freak, Guy 1?
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Oh you got that, G.
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What about you, Guy 2?
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Yes. Me. Too.
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I always get consent before I screw.
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I'm not a guy who's gonna rape you.
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Champagne, waterbed, satin covers;
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There you have it - another satisfied lover [x5]
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We need love, not meaningless sex.
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You got a round butt? We're not impressed.
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We're two Cassanovas, not pieces of meat.
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But pull down our pants, you'll like what you see.
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-----------------
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We Need Love
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The Lonely Island |