[Pharrell Williams:]
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I'm forty-one but look like I am eight
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Thirty-two pounds is how much I weigh
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My hat's so big you can see it from space
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And this song's so overplayed it will drive you insane
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Cue awful dancing
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Clap along if you love watching people who can't dance
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My style is tacky
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I look like Smokey the Bear in this ridiculous brown hat
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This song's so crappy
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That it's used by the Army to torture people in Iraq
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I'm so unhappy
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But you'd never know because I just did a shit ton of crack
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I really owe Daft Punk and Robin Thicke
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'Cause without them I'd be irrelevant
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[Daft Punk:]
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You need to polish our dicks until they both shine
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[Robin Thicke:]
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But before that let's snort some blurred lines
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[All:]
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We're way too happy
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[Pharrell:]
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Clap along if you're high and you just wanna clap
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[All:]
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We're way too happy
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The only way to stand this song is to take ecstasy and do smack
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Happy, happy, happy
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[Pharrell:]
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Apparently saying the same word ninety times guarantees a smash
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[All:]
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Happy, happy, happy
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[Businessman:]
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Holy shit, I love happiness
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Please take all of my hard-earned cash
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[Pharrell:]
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I'm shaking now
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Did so much speed
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Have to make sure that I stay happy
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So I can brainwash humanity
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With this dumb song and then
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Sell more CDs
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[Prozac Attorney:]
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Stop, I'm here to sue Pharrell
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I'm a Prozac attorney
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The whole world's happy because of this goddamn song
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And our drug sales are tanking
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[Style Police:]
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Freeze, Style Police
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Pharrell, you're under arrest for that fugly-ass brown headpiece
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[Pharrell:]
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But it's trendy
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[Style Police:]
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It's way too big for your head
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You look like an ad for Arby's
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[Doctor:]
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Guys, stop arguing
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Pharrell, I got your tests back and found out why your hat looks so big
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You are shrinking
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That is also why your voice sounds like a prepubescent kid
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[Pharrell:]
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What are you saying?
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[Doctor:]
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According to this chart
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You have ten more seconds to live
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[Pharrell:]
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Doc, please help me
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[Doctor:]
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There's nothing that can be done
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Say goodbye to your fake happiness
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[Style Police:]
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Thank God that horrible song is over! Now, will someone please get in here and burn that fucking hat?
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-----------------
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Happy Parody
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| Bart Baker |
