(Uh, thanks. Umm...welcome to my show; it's called, "If You Sing Along I'll Fucking Kill You." Uh, this is a song.)
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Everytime I go to dinner
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it seems like I'm getting a little bit thinner
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I'll sit down at the breakfast table
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I can talk; they're not able
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When I look at them I find
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there's a single question on their mind.
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I wish it could go back to the way it was
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its not easy now because...
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My whole family thinks I'm gay
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I guess it's always been that way.
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Maybe its cause of the way that I walk,
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that makes them think that I like...boys
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That I like boys
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The goddamn question just wont go away
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and I get asked every single day
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but the way they ask it is not a disguise,
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like "How was your day? Do you like to kiss guys?" (That's...funny)
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This is the worst, baby this was my fear
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Now their opinions are crystal clear, because
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My whole family now is shocked,
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I'm in the closet and the door is locked.
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Now my glory days are gone,
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I was John Elway now I'm Elton John.
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My whole family now suspects,
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Watching Spongebob had side-effects.
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I'm not gay and that's what I said,
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If I'm gay, hey God strike me dead.
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Just cause I'm afraid of the snow,
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Or my favorite color is, the rainbow.
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I don't mean to yell but i fear i must,
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Cause I'm losing the people that i thought i could trust.
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Because, even my boyfriend thinks I'm gay...motherfucker
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You all probably think I'm gay,
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Man this song is counterproductive ...
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la la la la laa˘ć|
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Because my whole family thinks I'm gay,
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What did they know anyway?
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You gotta look right through the haze,
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Easy-Bake oven was just a phase.
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My whole family thinks I'm queer,
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That is all I ever hear,
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But I've been as straight as a ramp,
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If you dont count Bible camp.
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My Whole Family...
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| Bo Burnham |
