(Get on my level, Madison,
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Just picture a depressed onion cutting itself.)
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I met a homeless man named Rich (He wasn't)
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Isn't that terrible?
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I saw a flyer for a lost dog and the dog didn't have any legs
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I saw a diabetic kid trick or treating
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I saw a giraffe who had a short neck
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That was sad or a deer
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I saw an old man get hit by a train
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He didn't see it in the pouring rain
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He didn't hear me shout, "Look out for the train!"
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'Cause I didn't say anything
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I just thought to myself, "Oh this is gonna be sad."
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And it was, I'm a genius
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I saw a man with only one eye in a 3D movie
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I saw a little boy drop his ice cream cone directly on his mother's corpse
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I saw a kitten stuck in a tree then the kitten jumped off and he hung itself
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I saw a boy who had red hair
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I went to a store looking for something to buy
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But they only sold paintings of the same sad guy
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No, wait?this store sells mirrors
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See what I did there?
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Let's rock
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No
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The world's so sad, bros
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Pain, genocide, war, racism, sexism
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But I gotta remember there's good things about it too
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Like the fact that none of that's happening to me, score!
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Still though it's hard not to be sad about it
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How do y'all do it?
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I've been telling you, guys, terribly sad things this whole song. You haven't been sad at all
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You've been...
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You've been happy, no,
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You've been laughing
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That's it, laughter, it's the key to everything
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It's the way to solve all the sadness in the world
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I mean, not for the people that are actually sad, but for the people like us who've gotta fucking deal with 'em all the time
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Being a comedian isn't being an insensitive prick capitalizing on the most animalistic impulses of the public, it's being a hero!
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The world isn't sad. The world's funny! I'm a sociopath!
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I saw an old man slip and fall?hey, what a fucking idiot
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I saw a woman at her daughter's funeral?ha ha ha! Classic comedy!
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Everything that once was sad is somehow funny now
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The Holocaust and 9/11?
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That shit's funny 24/7
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'Cause tragedy will be exclusively joked about,
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Because my empathy is bumming me out
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Goodbye, sadness! Hello, jokes.
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-----------------
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Sad
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| Bo Burnham |
