Parody of Sold: The Grundy County Auction by John Michael Montgomery (R. Fagan/R.Royer), Of Music (ASCAP)/RobbRoy West Music (BMI)
|
New Lyrics (Skoal) by Cledus T. Judd and Chris Clark La-Po Music/Chris Clark Publishing Designee.
|
New Lyrics (Stoled) by Cledus T. Judd, Bruce Burch, Dan Saranana, Rich Fagen, La-Po Music (BMI)/Bruce Burch Music (SESAC), Of Music (ASCAP)/Dan Saranana Publishing Designee
|
|
Sadie, pull this car over. Let me get me a can of Skoal.
|
|
Well, we went down to the Grundy County auction
|
The sign said no tobaccer where we sat
|
My wife told me that I should spit with caution
|
Or else we'll all wind up in a big ol' spat
|
|
And I said hush your mouth nobody's gonna mind
|
If I pack my lip and ignore the sign
|
'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all
|
Then, I've never seen anyone get so mad
|
From a little bit of spit on his John Deere hat
|
But I spit on him once, spit on him twice
|
Spit Skoal on the feller in the second row
|
Well he turned around and nearly broke my nose
|
I got a big fat lip, two black eyes
|
Shoulda just went and dipped outside
|
|
Well, it musta been about eight or nine more minutes
|
Until I pulled that can of Skoal back out
|
And I knew when I put my fingers in it
|
That I'd just spit it out amongst the crowd
|
...Look out!
|
|
And you know I really don't care if anybody minds
|
A pinch 'tween your cheek and gum is not a crime
|
So I'll do my spittin' and to heck with the rest of y'all
|
Well I've never saw people gettin' so dang mad
|
Worst County auction they've ever had
|
'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice
|
Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess
|
I even got a little on a lady's white dress
|
But in the end they got me back you see
|
They all took a dip and spit on me
|
|
Well, they pinned me down on the auction block
|
And took my Skoal away
|
And the town still hates to talk about
|
The mess that was made that day
|
|
When I said hush your mouth, nobody's gonna mind
|
If I pack my lip and ignore the sign
|
'Cause a little dip of Skoal never hurt no one at all
|
Well, I've never saw people gettin' so derned mad
|
The worst County auction they've ever had
|
'Cause I spit on 'em once, spit on 'em twice
|
Spit Skoal on the people, well I must confess
|
I even got a little on a lady's white dress
|
Shoulda swallowed my dip, swallowed my pride
|
Shoulda just went and spit outsiiiiiiide.
|
|
Whew!
|
|
Boy, that was horrible!
|
|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
|
|
Well I went down to a Music City function
|
Where I just heard a song that I had to howl out
|
My lawyers told my to proceed with caution
|
Or I'd make a whole lot of songwriters mad
|
|
Uh-huh
|
|
And I said
|
Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind
|
If I take a song and make it mine all mine
|
Like I did so many times with old Tim McGraw's
|
Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine
|
Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines
|
Well I stole it once stole it twice
|
I STOLE it from a writer on Music Row
|
Well he just moved to town and he didn't know
|
About ASCAP, SESAC, or BMI
|
So he might as well kiss his song goodbye
|
|
I had my number two pencil going about a mile a minute
|
Till I had his ideas all written down
|
And I knew I really went and did it
|
When the police came and hauled my butt downtown
|
|
And I said
|
Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind
|
If I steal a song and make it mine all mine
|
Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw's
|
Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine
|
Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines
|
Well I stole it once stole it twice
|
I STOLE that song and I must confess
|
When I went to court I plead no contest
|
Got a big fat lip and two black eyes
|
Never should have messed with his copyright
|
|
Yeah
|
I told the judge I had writers block but he hauled my butt away
|
And now it hurts too much to laugh about the song I stole that day
|
|
When I said
|
Hey John Michael Montgomery won't mind
|
If I steal a song and make it mine all mine
|
Like I did so many times with Tim McGraw
|
Yeah I never heard anything sound so fine
|
Mind if I borrow one or two of your lines
|
So I stole it once stole it twice
|
| I STOLE it from a writer on Mus |
